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The relationship that I have with my spouse is more honest and trusting now than it's ever been before, and I think that it is in part because of the fact that we have opened up our marriage, so to speak, as backwards as that might sound to many people. Before I opened up to him about my feelings for "X", I struggled with what the feelings meant - was I being a bad wife? What could I possibly do to turn them off? Why did I feel so much love for more than one person? Was that ok, or was I just fooling myself? I didn't want to leave my spouse, but I didn't want to cut X out of my life, either. So I opened up about it, and surprisingly enough, my spouse was incredibly understanding and level-headed about it, and reassured me that it was alright. Soon after, the three of us began to engage in, well, physical acts, at the suggestion of my spouse. We haven't struggled with jealousy or bitterness, nothing is weird, life continues as usual, I just have the love of two people and am able to fully love them both, which is incredibly satisfying. I know that I'm incredibly lucky that things have worked out like this, as I feel that most people would have been really upset at the revelation that their spouse also had serious feelings for someone else. As for the future, if my relationship with X were to come to an end, I don't know if I would want to look for someone else. This somewhat "poly" relationship I'm in has so far been my only experience with it, and it's only come about because of my specific feelings for X, so I don't know if being in a poly relationship is something that I would always crave and go after, if that makes any sense. At the same time, if either of my partners met someone that they also developed feelings for and wanted to be with, I would be very encouraging, and would really hope that everyone would be able to get along at the very least, and at best, be with everyone else (although, my partners aren't into each other as anything more than best friends, which is what they were before all of this, which added another dimension of freak-out for me at first, and trust and stability once everything had been aired out.)

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